Menu Close

How to Avoid the Parenting Mistakes Commonly Made with a First Child

Parenting is exciting, fulfilling, and very hard. We may have the best of intentions, but still somehow end up misguided. Often our first child ends up being something of an experiment, and is sometimes treated unfairly compared with our other children.

What are some of the mistakes that we can do our best to avoid?

Expecting Too Much

With your first child, you may be shocked at how fast they grow and how old they look from one moment to the next. It can be easy to forget that even though they are your first to reach each milestone, they are still relatively young.

Rather than thinking of them as your big kid, try remembering what it was like for you to be the same age as them. This brings perspective and helps you avoid expecting adult behavior from them. Be careful to avoid expecting too much more of them than their younger siblings, because they are still children as well.

Being Too Strict

Before we have children, we vow that our child will never be the loud brat that seems easy to judge. As a consequence of this, we sometimes attempt to force our child into a submissive temperament by being overly harsh and strict. This can build resentment in your child, as they can easily see that your true motive was to save your own pride in front of others.

Choose to be especially understanding of your first-born, as we have the strongest tendency to parent this way when we are a new parent.

Feeling Fearful about Everything

As first-time parents, we worry so much about our children. We are fearful of germs, cold air and bullies. It seems that everything has the potential to harm our little ones. Try to remind yourself that a normal child can handle most normal challenges, and allow them to live. This will help them not to feel resentful of younger siblings who appear to be allowed to do more at the same age later on.

Giving Them Too Much Responsibility

First-born children are often helpful and naturally responsible. Unfortunately, it can be easy even for good parents to take advantage of this quality. Be careful not to place too much responsibility on your older child. Don’t use them as a built-in babysitter, household worker, or kitchen help. Chores are fine, but continuous unpaid volunteer work is not.

Pushing Them to Excel

We all want our children to reach their full potential, but this potential is often best discovered by the child and not the parent. As your child grows in a nurturing environment, they will naturally be drawn to things they love and are passionate about. Sometimes we put undue pressure on our first-born child that we would never expect of our other children, and we need to relax and refrain from bringing this stress on them.

Comparing Them to Their Younger Siblings

No two children are the same. Your children will all be great at some things, and will fail at others. Parent your children as individuals and don’t expect your first-born to compete with your younger children. He or she is a special, unique and amazing person who should be encouraged to become all they can be, not forced into the personality of their younger siblings.

Parenting is tough, and with it comes many pressures. These pressures can cause us to make mistakes with our children, especially our first-born. Avoid these mistakes and you will be thankful that you never need to look back with regret.

How to Avoid the Parenting Mistakes Commonly Made with a First Child

How to Avoid the Parenting Mistakes Commonly Made with a First Child

error: Content is protected !!